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The observations of a twenty-something writer, blogging and blagging her way through mumhood, trying to raise an integrated member of society whilst chasing after a delinquent labrador.

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November 7, 2017

There are several reasons why I haven't blogged in a while. To wit, I've been really bloody busy. I mean, really - haven't we all? 

Then tonight, I poured myself a comfortingly large glass of red wine and opened up my laptop, keen to breathe out the words that I've been...

August 18, 2017

People are usually well-meaning when they ask how your baby is sleeping. There are generally, but not exclusively, three kinds of people who ask:

  1. The (normally babyless) Revellers: will usually ask you for gory details of sleepless nights, and feast on the morbid...

July 25, 2017

I’ve made no secret on this blog of the fact that I wasn’t particularly good at being pregnant. Speaking candidly, I was never the most maternal of women and I was terrified that I wouldn’t be any good at mothering a human. 

I knew all along that I wanted to breastfeed....

July 21, 2017

Mum. Mom. Mama. Madre. Mere. Ma. Mam. Mummy. Mommy. Maman. Mutter. Mother.

The moment I realised that I was, in fact, all of the above didn’t come the day my son was born.

Of course, I behaved like his mum from the offset. I cared for him and nursed him as a mother would...

May 2, 2017

Despite usually looking about as well-dressed and put together as Argus Filch, hoping that a bit of red lipstick and a scarf will distract people from the fact that I've got tomato soup on my top, I actually spent a couple of years working in the beauty and skincare in...

April 11, 2017

(Joint post, co-written by the father of the offspring)

1. If you find yourself in an environment where the seating plan is an open semi-circle, cut your losses and leave. 

2. No matter how old you get, your backside will still clench tighter than a drug smuggler's thr...

March 25, 2017

I've been asked this quite a bit. 

If I may be so bold, I'd rather see Edward Scissorhands down at the business end when I'm in labour than attend my own baby shower. 
For me, a baby shower is right there in my room 101, along with vow renewals, couples who share a Fa...

March 22, 2017

It's no secret that I'm less than a fan of baby books. 

On the whole, I find them condescending, unrealistic and I generally don't care for the tone when talking about the father. I'm a grown woman, frankly I don't need 'hubby' to totally bend over backwards for nine...

March 18, 2017

Oh, we thought we were out of the woods, didn't we? 

I figured that the particularly unstable symptom of losing my shit over the tiniest thing had long since passed, along with morning sickness (which actually struck again early one morning in month five, outside my hou...

March 16, 2017

A few people have asked me about a birth plan recently. 

Haven't the foggiest, if I'm honest. I'm rather hoping for an 'it'll be alright on the night' approach, although the closer my due date comes, the more I feel like someone who's signed up for the London Marathon...

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